Showing posts with label decision. Show all posts
Showing posts with label decision. Show all posts

Saturday, February 13, 2021

Betrayal, Heartbreak, Decision

Ang sakit sobrang sakit.

I never though na magagawa mo sa akin to. Minahal kita ng lubos, higit pa sa sarili ko. Binigay ko sayo ang sarili ko ng buong buo to the point na napabayaan ko na ang sarili ko. Pero lahat ng yun ay nasayang lang. Sinayang mo lang. You took me for granted.. pinagsamantalahan mo ang kahinaan ko.

Hindi ko lubos maisip kung bakit eh. Sobrang sakit nito para sa akin. Hindi ko alam kung saan ako nagkulang, kung ano pa ba dapat ginawa ko para hindi mo na yun ginawa.

Lagi akong andyan para sayo kapag kailangan mo ng taong mag uuplift sayo, mag eencourage, mag bibigay ng advise, ng positive words. Pero kulang pala no. Ngayon na realize ko, never mo pala talaga ako minahal no. Ang minahal mo is yung personality ko. 

I don't think you have loved me at all, I think you just loved the idea that I am nice, sweet, thoughtful, and caring. Minahal mo yung mga bagay na kayang kong ibigay sayo. Pero never mong minahal ang buong ako.

Ngayon ikakasal ka na, gustong kong lumaban, pero alam kong wala naman akong laban eh. Bakla lang ako. Babae siya, dinadala niya ang magiging pangalawang anak mo. Talo ako. You want me to stay, ayaw mo akong mawala sayo, sabi mo walang magbabago satin. Pero sobrang unfair naman yun sa akin no. Ano yun, gusto mo akong maging kabit? Ako ang nauna pero ako ang magiging kabit? Lagi lang akong mag aantay sa kung kailan safe mo ako tawagan kasi hindi kita pwedeng i message, i text, or tawagan kung kailan ko gusto dahil baka mabasa niya?

At kung tatangapin ko man and gusto mo, sobrang unfair para sa akin. Ako ang magsasakripisyo, ako ang lugi, ang pinaka masasaktan, pero at the end of the day, ako parin ang lalabas na masama.

Siguro ibalik nalang natin sa dati, sa kung saan tayo nagsimula. Sa pagiging magkaibigan.

"Didistansya lang muna ako ha, para hndi na ako masaktan lalo. Pero nandito lang naman ako pag kailangan mo ako. Hindi mawawala, hndi maglalaho."

Siguro panahon na muna para intindihin ko ang sarili ko. Sobrang kong napabayaan eh, babawi muna ako para sa akin. 

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Should I pursue him or not?

Crossing my fingers. I hope this person has something better in mind for me. Even if I know that crossing my fingers won't really make any difference at all. Hahaha!

I actually have a crush on this guy (he was actually my trainer), and this is exactly his post at Facebook.

Although he knows that I have a crush on him, I don't think that there would be a possibility that we can be together since I'm not his type. However some of my colleagues told me that there's nothing wrong in trying to woo the guy. But I don't really know.

Then I just saw this post. I pretty much sure that that post wasn't meant for me (although at some point I'm hoping that it really is), but I can't really help it. I wanted to text him now, just to know how he is but I'm just so afraid that it would be just a nonsense text to him. I'm just so afraid that he might reject me.

Should I pursue him, or should I just keep it to myself?

I don't know.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Weather and Emotions 2

It's gloomy outside... inside of me as well...

It's been almost a month since I left the hall where identity of mine was made. But still I haven't fix this problem, confusion eat me up...

Two things I expect it might be. Either I would be out and free but selfish, or stay and caged but safe.

I guess I need to get out of the curtain I was in, and reveal the face and emotion that embrace.

It's gloomy outside... inside of me as well...

Thursday, June 04, 2009

Weather And Emotions

It's raining outside... and so inside of me...

Few more days to count before I leave this mixed hall of weather, where I had my own identity. It's such hard decision to make thou such a great experience and lesson gained, but still... when emotion stirs, weakness embrace in.

And so, as to this day. I have to bid on this wall... and so as to you, as I only have a month to stay, and clear my name away... not only to them but most especially to you, thou I'm nothing to you as you mean something to me... I have to erase my name on your memory, as I have to erase you on me... thou it would take time for me.

After that, I would still have to face another problem to fix. And I am confused to what should I choose... is it me or them? It's selfish of me not to choose them thou something tells me that I have to choose myself for I have think of them all mylife. I guess I need to get out of the curtain that I was in.

It's raining outside... and so inside of me...

Monday, April 06, 2009

Simple and Complicated Choices


Have you ever asked yourself why does everything in this world have to be complicated? Why do we see a lot of variety and choices? And yet we only need one? Why can't everything just be simple?

That's life, enjoy it. It doesn't matter if you picked the wrong one. After all, how will you know which is right,
if you don't know which is wrong.

About Me

My photo
I am a type of person who smiles a lot and appreciates anything that catches my eye especially paintings I love to laugh (especially when Im with MAH SISTER ARA), dance (dancing is my passion), act(thats why I joined a theater group), sing(even though my voice isnt good for singing), read books(fiction and literature), movies(I love watching flicks, any genre), write(love to write anything that my mind shouts), paintings(I really appreciate and love paintings but my friends doesnt know that), and most of all I love to sleep!!!! I hate pretenders and posers, someone who thinks and act like s/hes in the limelight, demanding, SCAPEGOAT, and most of all HOLDAPERS and SNATCHERS!! (Die! You Criminal!!!) -born on d 1stday of d 7th month. -4'11 in height -Freelance Writer