Marco!

Three years and a couple of months had already passed since I met this guy (I'll just call him Marco) who is somewhat one of those termed as "pamhinta" (like me of course). I met Marco at a b-day celebration of a common friend (I was only 14 then, 3rd-yr. HS and Marco was 3years my senior), and we kinda share the same interests like type of music, that dancing is our passion, and that the dream of being known in the world of performing arts. He's really cool to be with... I mean to strike up a conversation with (no to mention that he's gorgeous and hot). Our friendship grew when we became text mates, and sometimes we met and hangout at mall after class hours, talk over the phone for several hours during weekends...but he always refuse to tackle the topic of love and relationships, that's why back then I'd never found out if he's committed to someone or not.

For a month of hanging out with Marco, I felt like I'm starting to like him (I know for sure it is because I never felt anything like that before), but I never did told him for I'm afraid that our friendship might be affected.

Until I asked for his friendster (back then I don't really care bout my friendster acct.) so I could add him up. So it was, I browse his profile and found out that his committed to someone (to a gay of course) and that they've been together for almost a year. OUCH! that was the first thing I'd said, I mean it, I got hurt, though I know I shouldn't be. A week later, he called me (as he always do) and ask me to go at his place, luckily it's Saturday so I did. When I got there Marco was crying , I asked him why, he said that he's bf broke up with him for another guy. I looked into his eyes and I saw and felt the pain in it. I hugged him, comforted him, told him that everything would be fine and he can get over this and I'm here for him... as a friend. If only I could tell him as a lover, but I can't, I'm afraid.

And so it was, Marco had moved on, and manage to find a more serious one. As summer vacation came, our friendship blurred... I was enrolled to a summer sports program (tennis) and he on the other hand enrolled on an acting workshop. June approach, we failed to hangout on the succeeding months. I focus on my academic and had CAdT (Citizen Advancement Training) every Saturdays, but still we talked over the phone. This continue until I entered college, but it changed at the early days of August 2006, because I have to attend rehearsals for a stage play (I joined our school's theater group named Tanghalang Batingaw). For two months, he didn't call, nor answer my text message, and at friendster. And so I give up, I didn't text him... for a year.

And so, a year and several months had passed. And I'd had several commitments (all flings), but I'd never had any serious commitment for up to this day I still want him, I still feel something for him that's why I do visit his friendster profile every time I open my account, so that I would have news on him.

Now I'm 17 turning 18, and Marco's 20 turning 21. The latest news I know was that a month after his 21st b-day he's gonna get married... to a girl 2years his senior (that makes her 5year older than me), and it pains me so much to know this... though I know I shouldn't be.