Saturday, February 13, 2021

Betrayal, Heartbreak, Decision

Ang sakit sobrang sakit.

I never though na magagawa mo sa akin to. Minahal kita ng lubos, higit pa sa sarili ko. Binigay ko sayo ang sarili ko ng buong buo to the point na napabayaan ko na ang sarili ko. Pero lahat ng yun ay nasayang lang. Sinayang mo lang. You took me for granted.. pinagsamantalahan mo ang kahinaan ko.

Hindi ko lubos maisip kung bakit eh. Sobrang sakit nito para sa akin. Hindi ko alam kung saan ako nagkulang, kung ano pa ba dapat ginawa ko para hindi mo na yun ginawa.

Lagi akong andyan para sayo kapag kailangan mo ng taong mag uuplift sayo, mag eencourage, mag bibigay ng advise, ng positive words. Pero kulang pala no. Ngayon na realize ko, never mo pala talaga ako minahal no. Ang minahal mo is yung personality ko. 

I don't think you have loved me at all, I think you just loved the idea that I am nice, sweet, thoughtful, and caring. Minahal mo yung mga bagay na kayang kong ibigay sayo. Pero never mong minahal ang buong ako.

Ngayon ikakasal ka na, gustong kong lumaban, pero alam kong wala naman akong laban eh. Bakla lang ako. Babae siya, dinadala niya ang magiging pangalawang anak mo. Talo ako. You want me to stay, ayaw mo akong mawala sayo, sabi mo walang magbabago satin. Pero sobrang unfair naman yun sa akin no. Ano yun, gusto mo akong maging kabit? Ako ang nauna pero ako ang magiging kabit? Lagi lang akong mag aantay sa kung kailan safe mo ako tawagan kasi hindi kita pwedeng i message, i text, or tawagan kung kailan ko gusto dahil baka mabasa niya?

At kung tatangapin ko man and gusto mo, sobrang unfair para sa akin. Ako ang magsasakripisyo, ako ang lugi, ang pinaka masasaktan, pero at the end of the day, ako parin ang lalabas na masama.

Siguro ibalik nalang natin sa dati, sa kung saan tayo nagsimula. Sa pagiging magkaibigan.

"Didistansya lang muna ako ha, para hndi na ako masaktan lalo. Pero nandito lang naman ako pag kailangan mo ako. Hindi mawawala, hndi maglalaho."

Siguro panahon na muna para intindihin ko ang sarili ko. Sobrang kong napabayaan eh, babawi muna ako para sa akin. 

Tuesday, November 17, 2020

2nd Entry After 3 years

It has been 3 months since I've met you. And it that 3 months, my feelings for you evolved from simple attraction to being so in love.

It was complicated at first, I was not so sure of what exactly I am to you. I fell in love with you that fast even though we were both committed.

But things has its way of working things out. Soon we found ourselves leaving our partners (now exes). Then we became together, it was too soon, yet we became official.

It is just our first month, yet you already introduced me to your family, and they are okay with it.

I know I should feel secure with you, though it is just our first month. You always gave me re-assurance that you love me, yet I still feel insecure of things.

I know I should trust you, and let go of these insecurities. And I promise you I will.

I promise that thing will work out alright.


Sunday, September 06, 2020

Kahit Kaunting Pag asa

Is this love?

Love nga ang nararamdaman ko para sayo, o crush? Bakit ba ganito, ang komplikado. Committed ka, committed ako, kaya hindi pwede. Kung sana lang wala akong karelasyon eh, handa akong maging kabit.


May tiyansa kaya ako sa iyo, kahit konti lang. Handa akong tanggapin kahit tira tira lang. Hindi naman ako manghihingi ng buo, dahil alam ko hindi pwede.


Kagabi, yoon ang unang beses na naglambing ako sa isang lalaking hindi ko karelasyon. Ang gabing kapareho ng nararamdaman ko... madilim, walang patutunguhan, nasa kawalan. Ngayon umaga na, maliwanag. Kasing linaw ng katotohanang wala akong tiyansa sayo.


Kahit alam kong walang pag asa, patuloy parin kitang mamahalin. Patuloy na aasa na sana kahit konti lang.


Mali ba itong nararamdaman ko? O nasa maling pagkakataon tayo nagkakilala.

Thursday, February 23, 2017

Faith, Trust, and Hope

1.) Once, all villagers decided to pray for the rain. On the day of prayer, all people gathered and only one boy came with umbrella... that's faith.

2.) When you throw a baby in the air, the baby laughs because he know you will catch him... that's trust.

3.) Every night we go to bed, we have no assurance that we will wake up the next morning, but still we have plans for tomorrow... that's hope.

Saturday, February 11, 2017

Patience and Ego

This is a post from one of my friend in Facebook, and it hit me hard.
"Practice patience when you have nothing, and watch your ego when you have everything."

Monday, January 30, 2017

Miss Universe 2016

It was 23 years before when the Miss Universe pageant was last held here in the Philippines, and the excitement is indescribable.

The last time it was held in the Philippines, Sushmita Sen from India was crowned as the winner by the outgoing Miss Universe Dayanara Torres from Puerto Rico. Both of them somehow became a celebrity here, and both of them sat as part of the judging panel.

One of the shocking news is the non inclusion of Venezuela (Miriam Habach) to the semi finalist. Everybody seems to be so sure that she would make it to Top13, she's beautiful and she perform perfectly. But we just don't know what happened.

Kenya's first time in to the semi finals also came as a surprise even to her (Mary Esther Were). But it seems like she's determined to be on top. I was even more nervous during Q&A round, it was definitely a tough question to her. She might not made it to Top3, but it was definitely a good fight.

Thailand's Chalita Suansane inclusion on each round came as a no surprise. She's topping the fan vote each and every round. That is why it is also shocking that she didn't make it to Top3.

It is also a tough competition for Philippine's Maxine Medina. Not only that the outgoing Miss Universe is Pia Wurtzbach (Philippines), but she's also a host delegate. Coincidentally, when MU was held in the Philippines in 1994, Philippines representative Charlene Gonzalez only made it to Top6.

Myanmar might not make it to the semi finals, but it she won the National Costume award.

Here are the candidates who made it to Top13 (with their country's last placement).
- Brazil (MU2015 Top15)
- Indonesia (MU2015 Top15)
- Panama (MU2011 Top10)
- Peru (MU2012 Top16)

Candidates who made it to Top9 are all from North America.
- Canada (MU2006 Top10)
- Mexico (MU2015 Top15)
- USA (MU2015 2nd)

Top6 are
- Kenya
- Philippines (MU2015 Winner)
- Thailand (MU2015 Top10)

And here is the Top3.
2nd RunnerUp - Colombia (MU2015 1stRU)
1st RunnerUp - Haiti (MU1975 1stRU)
Winner - France (MU2015 Top5)

I would have though that Haiti would get it since she really gave a heartfelt answer (confidently beautiful with a heart) making it their first Miss Universe crown... but it ended as their second MU 1st RunnerUp. And coincidentally... France's 2nd Miss Universe crown (since 1952).

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Still - Brian McKnight

I don't know but for some reasons I can't help but feel in love and inspired whenever I hear this song.


Funny when you stop and think
Time goes faster than you blink
Nothing's ever like it was
but girl we've got a special thing
all the happiness it brings
is more than enough

I know it's hard to believe
You're still the biggest part of me
all I'm living for
I still think about you
I still dream about you
I still want you
and need you by my side
I'm still mad about you
all I ever wanted was you
your still the one [2x]

It's hard to breathe when were apart
You're like sunshine in my heart
I keep you here inside
you've been everything to me
you've been and always will be
the apple of my eye

And I know it's hard to believe
You're still the biggest part of me
all I'm living for
I still think about you
I still dream about you
I still want you
and need you by my side
I'm still mad about you
all i ever wanted was you
your still the one [2x]

If you love me
look into my eyes and say you do
I've been waiting all my life
for someone just like you
baby all that we've been through
Girl I'm still in love with you
and I want you to know I do, I do

I still think about you
I still dream about you
I still want you
and need you by my side
I'm still mad about you
all I ever wanted was you
your still the one [2x]

About Me

My photo
I am a type of person who smiles a lot and appreciates anything that catches my eye especially paintings I love to laugh (especially when Im with MAH SISTER ARA), dance (dancing is my passion), act(thats why I joined a theater group), sing(even though my voice isnt good for singing), read books(fiction and literature), movies(I love watching flicks, any genre), write(love to write anything that my mind shouts), paintings(I really appreciate and love paintings but my friends doesnt know that), and most of all I love to sleep!!!! I hate pretenders and posers, someone who thinks and act like s/hes in the limelight, demanding, SCAPEGOAT, and most of all HOLDAPERS and SNATCHERS!! (Die! You Criminal!!!) -born on d 1stday of d 7th month. -4'11 in height -Freelance Writer